A LETTER TO MY OLDER SELF
Originally published in Sixtyand Me on June 19, 2024. https://sixtyandme.com/letter-to-older-self/
A few weeks ago, we read a wonderful article about writing a letter to your younger self. The idea behind that seems to relate to honoring the wisdom and growth we are blessed with as the years pass, and that with a dose of self-compassion. My immediate thought was to turn this upside down and write a letter to my older self, so she knows that I am living with all the wisdom I have now to support who I am becoming.
I am about to turn 76, so I am reflecting on the woman I will be at 96. We know that our beliefs about aging influence the quality of our lives as we age. For example, if you believe it is normal for an 80-year-old to go on an active vacation with kayaking and hiking, then it is likely that you will do that yourself, and live the lifestyle that supports doing so.
So, the question is, what do I believe...
Have you ever considered doing something that sounded fun or interesting, but it just made you feel too anxious and full of fear?
This is part 3 of a three-article series about common ways we hold ourselves back from living the life we truly desire. The first article discussed how easy it is to find ways to talk ourselves out of making life changes that will move us toward fulfillment.
The second article explored the role of “busyness” in keeping us stuck when we truly desire something different.
Finally, we will normalize the fears that may arise when we decide to make a change in the comfortable status quo of our daily lives.
When we want to try something new or make a change in our life, it is perfectly normal to feel apprehension, fear, or nervousness. These are...
Have you ever wanted to try something new or make some kind of change in your life and then not follow through? We all do it! Yet, not following through can detract from us living the full and happy life we imagine, deserve and that can support healthy aging.
Maybe there is an activity you want to learn, such as pickleball or painting, and you never get beyond considering it… then feel yearning when you see someone else doing it. Or perhaps you want to write or get involved with a community group – then take no action.
Most of us are attached to the status quo, where life is safe, known, and easier. That is a holdover from our ancestors, where change could be life threatening. So, it is natural. Here is an article from several years ago that discusses the draw of comfort.
We humans tend to use three ways to...
Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” ® books by Chooseco? What if we looked at our post-fulltime life like that? After all, there are phases to retirement – from honeymoon to disenchantment to reorientation. Sometimes, there is no honeymoon, and we experience concern and confusion about what to do. It seems like “choose your own” is a mindset that could help us navigate the retirement journey with all its twists and turns.
Do you ever find yourself looking around to see how others are handling life after fulltime work? Using our book analogy, that is like finding out what others are reading. It doesn’t mean that you will like the book! Of course, exploring to get ideas is a good thing. The trick is to not assume others have the key that will work for you. You could use the “choose your own adventure” chapter approach to...
If you are experiencing some kind of life transition, you may be eager to get settled into your new phase. It might be leaving full-time work, or living alone for the first time in years, or having to adapt to new physical conditions. No matter the reason, life changes may be a time to reassess your sense of self and approach to life.
I had a recent conversation with a woman about how to create a revised life that is more fulfilling and satisfying. She asked me how she can know what she really wants out of all the possibilities and her perceived limits. That’s a very good question that requires a thorough response. Here we go!
Knowing is more than what you ‘think’, literally. For example, when I left full-time teaching, I planned to teach courses part-time and enjoy...
This article focuses on the transition out of full time work. The ideas also are relevant to anyone seeing 65 as a transition into a new phase of life. Let’s begin by framing the end of a full-time career as simply a transition in a continual sequence of life transitions. We have been through many and know how to do it. Step away from phrases like “final phase, third act, and golden age.” Such language builds an expectation of decline that may not be true for you, and certainly not for many of us.
A recent study by Age Wave (June 2023) found that on average, the concept of “old” for our grandparents was at 60 years and now is 80 years for our generation. I think that calls for a new language and understanding of what our post full-time years are about! Don’t you?
As we navigate the end of full-time work, we often ask...
Many people in the life phase after full-time work use the word “freedom” to describe their experience. When we dig deeper, we find that there are different explanations of what freedom really means to each of us. I am curious about what is true for you.
Freedom may not be how you would describe your life after full-time work and other life responsibilities. For some, responsibilities continue, such as caring for a family member or even raising grandchildren. For others, it may feel as though there is no longer a purpose.
You may have a full life just taking care of your own wellness. For about 30% of our generation of women, loneliness defines this phase. What are some of the words you use to describe what this phase of life is like for you?
If you do identify with the notion that this phase is a time of freedom, stop and reflect on what you mean by that. Is it “freedom...
We are continuing our exploration of the four vitality domains that influence your health span. Who doesn’t love Love – in all its forms!? Reflect on your own network of loved ones and sense of connection or isolation as you read.
Here is the introductory article for a quick review of health span.
Loneliness is associated with early mortality. Loneliness is not about feeling isolated socially; it is a deep feeling of being alone in the world. Some have described our modern-day situation as an “epidemic of loneliness.”
A Canadian study found that 30% of women over 75 feel lonely. The same study found that social connections increase the likelihood of survival in any year by more than 50%. You can easily see the significance of nurturing social connection. We all need community. How do you cultivate your social connections?
The...
We are continuing our exploration of the Vitality Domains that support our healthy aging. The second of four life areas that influence our health span is mindset. This encompasses our beliefs about aging, optimism, and mindfulness or presence.
As you read the articles, remember to notice your reaction to the different life areas. Allow yourself to hear your inner voice; you may recognize an area or two where nurturing it may well make a difference in your health span! It is time to take the actions that will support healthy aging so we can relish every minute of life.
Read the first article in the Vitality mini-series: LOVING LIFE WITH WELL-BEING AND ENERGY.
Mindset is significant because your assumptions about life and how you...
I’m resurfacing after three weeks of a respiratory virus that sure seemed Covid-like even though I tested negative. I haven’t been sick for a long time; it reinforced just how crucial wellness and vitality are to quality of life.
I could not do any of the things that bring me joy, much less think straight. So, let’s recommit to taking the actions that will influence our health-span so we can enjoy every minute of this precious life.
Well-being and energy comprise the first area for us to explore as we seek to influence our “health span.” It is all about our fitness, diet, managing stress, play and living a life that energizes us.
In a way, this is the most challenging area to influence because we all already know what constitutes a good diet, that we need a good night’s sleep, and that...
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